When you raise children, you often hear some entertaining words come out of their mouths. I think the time between the ages of two and eight is the prime time to hear some of the most hilarious things known to parents. Over the years, my husband and I have witnessed the comic genius that kids tend to be whether they mean to or not. When I stated out loud that I would be writing about funny things kids say, I was immediately surrounded by three of my children who felt obliged to bombard me with "funniness." I must admit that when they intentionally try to be funny, it doesn't work. They dressed up in costumes, did silly dances, made ridiculous faces, and tried to make unusual noises. That is their typical, daily behavior.
Kids often make up their own words, and mispronounce words. I love it when they repeat things that they hear incorrectly. The best is when they say something and have the most serious look known to kid-dom on faces. When my second son was not quite two, he called chocolate milk "cha cha milk." It has been known as cha cha milk ever since. In our house, pacifiers are called "pooty." The unusual name comes from my favorite movie, Orange County. My husband and I both thought it was a funny name, so we dubbed it "the pooty." Our three year old calls her backpack "packpack," which she carries everywhere, even to church. You would think she would use her Dora backpack which is the actual "Backpack" from the cartoon. No, she uses her pink "packpack." Unfortunately, we all call them packpacks now. No one can stand to correct her because it is cute and funny. She also calls bathing suits "babysoup" and I believe if I remember correctly, that is what I called them as a little girl. Kids have their catchphrases and cute sayings. Our three year old has been saying some of the funniest things lately, that I just have to share them with everyone.
You have to remember that my girls are the youngest of seven, and the older five are all boys. Sadly, they tend to pick up some things that girls shouldn't say. For instance: "Oh my balls!" is something she would say and still says on occasion when they are all wrestling and she hears the boys saying it. I had to explain to her that girls don't have "balls" and that she shouldn't say that because it's not lady-like. She said this just the other night while she was sitting on the couch with my husband and I, "I farted in my mouth." What she did was burp. Why she decided to say she farted in her mouth I will never know. She knows the difference between the two, believe me. Our oldest daughter has an uncanny ability to tell you how it is too. She once saw me eating the last of the ice cream out of the carton and said, "Why are you eating that whole box of ice cream?" Honestly, there was only a couple of scoops left. She loves to tell her brothers that they are "nasty" or "gisgusting." She thinks that gum is an actual food group and sometimes says, "Can I have some gum cause I'm hungry." She can be very serious and demanding. When she was just two years old, she had been listening to me talk to her dad and said, "You serious mom?" She has told me more than once, "Don't be ridiculous." I know I can count on her to be honest with me, whether I want her to or not. She was trying to get my attention the other night and said, "You gotta watch me, alright?" She has tried to bribe me with "I'll be your best friend" and is well known for saying, "What the heck?" I can always count on her to say or do something noteworthy like suddenly breaking out in a chorus of "all the single ladies, all the single ladies." Too funny.
My five year old cannot tell a lie and is unforgivingly honest. He loves to tell me, "You have a big belly" but he also tells me, "Mommy, you are so beautiful." Such a sweet boy. He often tells his younger sister, "You are so annoying" and I can't possibly imagine where he heard that.
My eight year old is quite the comedian. He says things without meaning to be funny and it just comes out that way. There was one summer when we were visiting my sister weeks before she adopted her daughter. He asked my sister for a banana but said, "I want a benina." My sister thought he said I want to be Nina, which is her daughter's name. We all laughed because it was a great stress reliever. All my boys remember the one morning during football season when my little man was getting dressed for school and had put on a pair of undies that had been transformed into a "girdle" for football. He was watching tv and pulling the new fangled undies and realized they had holes in the sides. He exclaimed, "We can, she's got, hey, I got pockets in my underwear!" How exciting to have pockets in your underwear!
I could write an entire book if I could remember all the crazy things my kids have said. There are some that I will never forget and I will bring them up at appropriate times in their adult lives. Just like no one will EVER let me live this one down, "Stick your boobies in Jell-O!"- a statement I had said one time when my sister had friends over. My husband enjoyed reminiscing his own childhood and came up with "Jungle when I pee," which is what he thought the monkeys sang in The Jungle Book. It's actually "jungle VIP." Silly boy.
These goofy moments happen all the time and are a helpful reminder of what a blessing children truly are. They make waking up in the morning a delight (if I have been blessed with at least 8 hours of shut eye).