Tricks of the Trade

I love to tell my kids that I have special powers. I firmly believe that when a woman becomes a mother, she morphs into this being that can do amazing things like speak while her teeth are clenched, see things behind her because she has eyes in the back of her head, bring a teenager to his knees just by pulling his ear lobe, has ESP, can speak in tongues when things are especially challenging, and get the attention of a room full of rowdy kids just by using her quiet voice.
On a good day, I only have to use one or two of my special powers. Some of my powers are a two for one kind of deal. I love catching my kids in the act of unruly behavior and surprising them when they least expect it. I have been known to clench my teeth, point at my children, and speak in this strange language that I am pretty sure is native only to the women on my mother's side of the family. I have many memories of my mother doing the same thing. She still has the power to over annunciate words in order to get her meaning across. I think the powers may also be genetic because I can also do things like "box your ears" and send you to "manners school." You can ask my kids. They will not only tell you that I do these things, but their mamaw does to.
I truly enjoy hearing my kids say, "How did you know I was doing that?" They always seem so shocked when I know what they are going to do before they do it. When I tell them about the eyes in the back of my head, they usually laugh-nervously.
Moms are also healers. We fix boo boos with kisses and bandages. We bring them ginger ale and soda crackers when they are sick. We make sure they are comfortable and have everything they need. We know our children and what they need. We know their cries, their fears, and what makes them laugh.
Moms are teachers. Our children learn valuable lessons from us. We are role models. Whether we mean for them to or not, whether we want them to or not, our children mimic us. Maybe that's why I act like my mom as much as I do.
We only do the things we do because we love our children. They may not believe it when we tell them it's for their own good, but really, it is. I hate to think what my kids would act like if I didn't have my special powers. Kids need discipline as much as they need love. Could you imagine having kids like the ones on Willy Wonka? Oh, and then, little Oompa Loompas would pop out and sing songs everytime they acted like spoiled brats. I might actually try it myself-"Oompa Loompa Dopity Do I've got another puzzle for you."

Maybe I will just stick to clenched teeth and ESP. My kids might try and lock me up if I sang that song all the time. I will continue to mold my children in ways that I was taught. And I will continue to tell them that I have super powers. Cuz I do-really.